SADNESS
by controversy-queen
Summary: The life of an Angst ridden Teenage Gilmore girl through her eyes. ONE SHOT


What if you thought nobody cared, what if you wanted a totally different life, personality, a different everything. What if you wanted some one to talk to, to communicate with and to truly love you for you and for you to truly love them back? To just have a life and not be such a disappointment in so many people's eyes and to just be totally different in every aspect and in every way.

Well that's me in every shape and form, I'm living a life I don't like but have no power to change it. I just want to tell someone one my feelings and for people to understand me for me. But that hasn't and will never happen. My life is so different to what people perceive it to be, they think I'm just a shy introverted person. But really I'm not. I'm a person who wants more to life than she has. I want friends who actually care for me enough to **CALL ME!** To talk to **ME!** I just want to be like and loved for who I am completely and totally.

As I write this I'm crying because I realise my life maybe perfect or great and wonderful in other peoples eyes, but really I'm just a sad 18 year old girl who wishes and wants soo much more than to cry herself to sleep every night in the privacy of her room.

I love my life to an extent, I couldn't ask for a better mother who I love and adore a great sister who I'm totally envious of, I want her life her confidence her everything.

I use to want my parents to get back together but I then realised that I don't. I like just living with my mum and sister. I like the fact my dad lives an hour and a half away from me, that kills me because I love my father and miss him terribly more than he will ever know. It kills me that he doesn't know the real me he only sees the shell of his former daughter. He chose his **"FIANCE"** (I can't say that word out loud) over us and moved away and doesn't even pay attention to us when we stay at his place. I miss him soo much. I love the time we spent together just me my sister and him, but he is a totally different person to the one I know and **SHE** did that and I hate that about her all I want is for my old dad back. I hate that she will have my last name, she has no right to it, it's my name, my sister's name and my mums name but **NOT HER NAME!**

I hate him sometimes and that saddens me that I could hate someone who I love and used to love unconditionally.

I' am Bella (Isabella) Leigh Dugrey, Daughter to Tristan Dugrey and Rory Dugrey, sibling to Asha Lorelai Dugrey who is 15. My parents have been divorced for one year and separated for six. He is getting married in a couple of weeks to a woman named Summer who he has been dating for about 3 years, my mother is dating a guy called Jess and has been dating him for nearly 6 years, who I like unlike my fathers partner. What is strange is that they both dated their partners in High School. My father dated Summer for a couple of weeks to make my mother jealous, which is why I suspect he is marrying her to make my mother jealous again.

My mother on the other hand dated Jess for nearly a year before he up and left and I know my mother truly loves him. She loves him differently to the way she loved my father I think her love for Jess is pure. I think she never stopped loving Jess and that my mum and Jess are soul mates.

Well to all those people know reading this to get an insight into my life there you have it not as you would've expected the life a child who's father was is an award winning actor and whose mother is a Pulitzer prize winning author and youngest editor of the New York Times ever, but that was my life as a teenager. I'm now 28 years old and have a life and family of my own. I've been married three years and have a two year old daughter and pregnant with one on the way. I'm a Harvard Graduate in Journalism top of my Class. My life is so different to my teenage years I'm finally happy and content and have everything I want in life.

I'm know Isabella (Bella) Mackenzie, Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, Granddaughter, Great-granddaughter, Aunt, Cousin and friend but most importantly **ME!**

I hope you liked this One Shot. This is loosely based on my life and feelings I have been having in my own life and just kind of started writing and it came out like this…If u ask nice enough I might even make this in to a Chapter story after I've at least completed one of my three Fanfic I have going.

Thanks hope you enjoyed it.


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